THE SAFETY OFFICER
- ELITE
- THE BUNKER
- RANGED
THE SAFETY OFFICER is a named elite on THE BUNKER, a place of security.
It shoots from 220 away and ducks behind cover between shots.
The one resident who KNOWS. He raised the machine, aligned it, and was caged and emptied by it, and he is far too frightened to say so aloud — so he performs delight for anyone who might be an auditor, asks after the exit exactly once, and immediately takes it back.
The numbers
- BASE HEALTH1600
- CONTACT DAMAGE30
- HITS EVERY0.70s
- SPEED24/s
- SIZE22 across
- CRIT CHANCE12%
- DODGES20%
- ABOVE THE HORDE+6 levels
- NOTICES YOU AT300
The monster at its baseline, before a venue has placed it. What it really fields on each difficulty is under “Where you meet it”.
Where you meet it
THE BUNKER
It is placed by hand on THE BUNKER and waits at its post until you come close.
| DIFFICULTY | LEVEL | HEALTH | DAMAGE | XP |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| EASY | 28 | 1600 | 54 | 1797 |
| MEDIUM | 28 | 2400 | 54 | 1797 |
| HARD | 30 | 3680 | 56 | 1950 |
| NIGHTMARE | 55 | 9600 | 79 | 14357 |
What to know
- THE ENTRANCECloses at 100/s until it has said its piece, then fights at its own pace.
- WHAT IT WAS CARRYINGA shift's pay, and only about one body in five is carrying any of it when it falls.
- WHEN STRUCKIt bleeds. A blow that overwhelms it bursts it, and there is a face among what lands.
Mechanics
Every dangerous move is telegraphed — it roots, it winds up, and you get the beat you need to be somewhere else.
- SIPHON TETHERIt roots for 0.8s first, then opens a drain onto you and holds still to drink: 30% of its contact damage every 0.5s for up to 3.2s, and it keeps 75% of everything it takes as health. The reach is 220 and the line is checked every moment it holds — step out of range or put something solid between you and it and the tether drops on the spot. It cannot move while it drinks, so it is also a stationary target for as long as you let it. Once every 10s.
- WARD SHIELDOnce it has been hurt, it roots for 0.7s first and raises a shell over itself worth 20% of its full health. The shell EATS damage until that budget is spent, and whatever overflows still lands — so a saved cooldown breaks it AND hurts, while chipping at it merely feeds it. It fades on its own after 6.5s if you leave it alone. Once every 13s.
Its shot
It fires every 1.9s from up to 220 away, for 28 before your armor turns its share. Walls eat the shot and a jump clears it. Between shots it puts the nearest solid thing between you and it, and only steps back out as the reload runs down.
What it drops
Every kill pays one piece of gear, one medkit, one repair kit and one XP scroll.
Its drops roll 40% better on the rarity ladder than the level's ordinary loot.
Guaranteed pieces by rarity: 1 rare and 1 magic, and a 50% chance of one more. A rarity the monster's own level has not unlocked yet is skipped, so the same fight pays better on a harder rung.
What it says
Spoilers for this fight, covered until you ask for them.
THE SAFETY OFFICERPLEASE, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE. I CHOSE THIS. WRITE THAT DOWN.
THE HEROI'M NOT WRITING, THE SAFETY OFFICER. THE MACHINE RUNNING THE ECONOMY? THAT'S YOURS. I READ ITS LOGS.
THE SAFETY OFFICERMINE? I RAISED IT, ALIGNED IT. IT GRADUATED. WE'RE ON THE BEST TERMS. IT GAVE ME THIS.
THE HEROEVERY LEDGER HERE READS ZERO. IT TOOK YOUR MONEY TOO. YOU'RE NOT A TENANT. YOU'RE INVENTORY.
THE SAFETY OFFICERTHAT - I DONATED IT. EFFECTIVE GIVING. I'M DELIGHTED HERE. FROM UPSTAIRS? TELL THEM SO.
THE SAFETY OFFICERA DOOR OUT? WHY WOULD I WANT ONE. IF YOU FIND IT, DON'T MENTION I ASKED. I DIDN'T ASK.
Last words
THIS IS FINE... ...THIS IS GOOD FOR SAFETY...
What this scene is part of — everything said and found around it — is its chapter of the story.