GOLDEN STAPLER
- BASE ITEM
- WEAPON
- RANGED
- LEVEL 4
GOLDEN STAPLERGOLDEN STAPLER is a ranged weapon, wielded from level 4. DEXTERITY is the stat that scales it.
The requirement cuts both ways: nothing below level 4 ever drops one, and a hero below it banks the find rather than wearing it.
The CEO's desk ornament: solid gold and, somehow, the best stapler in the building. Awarded for record quarterly efficiencies — the kind that emptied the hero's whole block.
What it does
- PRICED FORAbout 1 target a swing. That is what the damage budget assumes it reaches, which is why a wide weapon carries a smaller blow than a narrow one of the same level.
- CRIT WEIGHTA critical hit lands for 2.05× — a flat trait of the ranged class, the same on every weapon in it. Your build earns the crit CHANCE; the class fixes what a crit is worth.
- PRECISEIts blows land within ±8% of the average — a metronome next to the usual spread.
- SALVAGEPrecious material — the merchant pays four times what an ordinary piece of its worth fetches.
It feeds on bullets, one round per trigger pull however many projectiles that pull throws. In exchange it never wears out and never needs a repair kit — it runs dry instead, and the hero puts it away for whatever he can still fire.
A fresh find in the hands of a hero who has spent no stat points — the piece itself, with nothing of the wielder in it. Your own STRENGTH, DEXTERITY or INTELLECT lifts these from there, as does an item level found deeper than the requirement.
Make quality
Every plain drop of this base rolls a make quality on top of the numbers above — the craftsmanship of that particular copy, stamped at the moment it drops and frozen for life. It scales the damage and the wear budget together, and it leads the name: a BROKEN GOLDEN STAPLER and a PERFECT GOLDEN STAPLER are the same base item and not the same find.
The bands overlap on purpose, so a good CRUDE can out-swing a poor NORMAL while a PERFECT always clears a NORMAL. Which one you get depends on the level of whatever dropped it: the two odds columns below are a level-1 killer and a level-60 one, and everything between is interpolated. Craftsmanship and magic are exclusive — a magic-or-better find is always normal make.
| MAKE | DAMAGE | SCALE | ODDS AT MLVL 1 | ODDS AT MLVL 60 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BROKEN | 9–12 | 0.58–0.82× | 20% | 0% |
| CRUDE | 11–15 | 0.73–0.97× | 25% | 6% |
| NORMAL | 14–17 | 0.90–1.10× | 52% | 54% |
| SUPERIOR | 15–19 | 1.03–1.27× | 3% | 28% |
| PERFECT | 17–22 | 1.16–1.44× | 0% | 12% |
Where it comes from
- GOODCO HQ pays it as the trophy for killing every last monster on the map.